Caylee's Law

Several states are attempting to pass versions of "Caylee's Law," which makes it a felony to not report the disappearance or death of a child.  On the surface, the claim is to protect children and to better enable law enforcement to find a missing child and/or determine cause of death.  In reality, it's an attempt to punish someone a jury has acquitted.

If Scott Peterson had been acquitted, I imagine there would have been a move to make going fishing on Christmas Eve a felony, or leaving a 7 1/2 month pregnant wife home alone to take care of herself.  Or perhaps it should be a felony not to advise the in-laws when you buy a boat.  And of course, why not make adultery a felony?  I'm sure those are some of the reactions that would have resulted from the public condemnation of an acquittal.  As it was, we did get Conner's law, which was a totally unnecessary law in Conner's case but it did make politicians feel like they were doing something useful.

I'll not be surprised if someone suggests professional juries made up of people like Nancy Grace who know how to put circumstantial evidence together, no matter how irrelevant it is, to get that conviction.  I'm sure she'd readily accept an appointment as Secretary of Juries, with her cabinet-level agency responsible for appointing jurors who now how to understand evidence.  No more idiots who think the earth is flat serving on juries anywhere in America.  No sirree.

But I think what the American public wants is to simply do away with the trial -- after all, if the cops say the person is guilty, who are we to doubt?  We'd only need Judges to rubber-stamp warrants and subpoenas -- the cops can do all the rest.  Or maybe we'd still require them to have a DA sign off on their conclusion; after all, that would be a lot of layoffs, with all those defense attorneys being put out of work to add all the DA's to the unemployment numbers might not be a good idea getting this close to the election.

And no appeals.  God forbid anyone question the conclusion of a cop confirmed by a DA.  Besides, without appeals, no one would ever know they made a mistake.  No mistakes -- that would certainly promote faith in our justice system.

So, let's revise the system by totally doing away with not only juries but all trials, defense attorneys (such a bunch of scumbags, anyway), and appeals.